Cox Sox by Karin Aida

Cox Sox

Knitting
February 2013
Any sock yarn
Fingering (14 wpi) ?
30 stitches and 48 rows = 4 inches
in Stockinette
US 1½ - 2.5 mm
380 - 400 yards (347 - 366 m)
Women's Medium
Flag of English English
This pattern is available as a free Ravelry download

I am definitely riding on the coattails of the Pearl Clutcher cardigan with this. That cardigan is so beautiful, so inspired, that I really wanted to make one. But I thought about it realistically: it’s a lot of work to make something that I could never wear out of the house. So I thought about it, and I realized: I can’t wear a cardigan covered in dicks, but I could certainly get away with them on socks.

So I hunted for sock patterns. I pattern-searched “penis” and “dick” and “cock” – no joy. And I realized that this is a void that must be filled.

The sock is knit stranded, with 72 stitches. Sizing can be altered by changing needle size. The penises are charted, and the sock uses a short-row heel, but can easily be adapted to use a flap heel if you prefer. There is a chart provided with the colors inverted as well.

The pattern is free – I don’t want to be accused of profiting from some weird kind of sock “pornography”, nor do I wish to exploit the brilliant idea of the beautiful Pearl Clutcher cardigan to make a buck for myself. I just want to share with everyone the big smile I get when I walk around knowing I have dicks on my feet.

Some people may find this objectionable; to those people, I apologize. I have tagged this pattern as “mature” so that it can be avoided by people who are not inclined to want to look at knitted genitalia.

ETA: If you want to print off this pattern and give it to someone else without asking me first, that is fine with me (if you sell someone the pattern, I would be mad that you’d rip someone off like that…). I also believe that you have the right to sell any item that you make from this pattern, so if you make these socks and want to sell them, it’s your hard work - please go ahead and do so.