I wish I had the confidence to perform a good old­-­fashioned bump­ ­and­ ­grind, if only for my own mirror. I always strive for a picture I once saw of Lili St. Cyr. She was barefoot, low to the ground, and grinding; tossing her hair and smiling the wild, laughing smile of someone having a ball. But whenever I try (alone, of course, with door locked, but still embarrassed and looking over my shoulder), it always seems weird and phony, like TV strippers, or really funny and a little creepy, like a six-year-old girl shaking her ass to provocative pop song.
But that’s just because I didn’t have the right outfit. With my sparkly new pasties, I’ll be Lili-freaking-St. Cyr before you know it.