So when I began this project (this afternoon), I had no idea of the TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CUTENESS ABOUT TO INVADE MY HOME.

My youngest chose the yarn, unaware that she was choosing YARNY DOOM.

I knit and when I tucked in the last end Flounder leapt for freedom, hiding amongst the spring seedlings in a clear instinctual camoflaging attempt. Sad to say, it succeeded. (I might have taken off my glasses.)

Then it terrorized my brand new chicks! Clearly they are terrified and will be in chicken therapy for positively hours before their growth is back on track.

Then a leap to my cat! She was a grey smoke Persian until getting some up-close-and-personal time and suddenly I’ve got a short haired Flame Point Siamese on my hand who’s learned a good lesson about messing with bottom dwellers outside their natural liquid element!

While trying to comfort my poor kitty on her sudden fur change, darned if the thing didn’t leap to devour my dinner! No doubt the cat effort was just to distract me while it slurped up noddles and my homemade marinara. As I reached for it, it saw me (pretty easy, with the two-eyeballs-on-one-plane thing) and actually threatened my collection of knitting needles.

Oh, HALE naw.

It was on. Our epic battle raged up and down the hall, and it was only in my daughters’ bedroom that the fight ended. Completely tuckered out, it promised to be good if only I’d let it sleep and my youngest, who is beginning to be nicknamed Black Canary, promised unholy screaming banshee revenge if it made a move before morning. Considering her track record we’re giving it a shot but Flounder understands that his lifetime probation is hanging by a thread

Flounder was knit using some remnants of 220 Superwash Paint that I’d bought for usage in a baby gift, with white Cascade 220 Solids used for the eyes (technically another remnant, from the Baby Surprise Jacket that used precisely one row’s worth of it), and some now-discontinued black embroidery wool that DMC made for a while

Stay tuned for Flounder II: The Flounder Was Not Alone (working title: When Big Sister Wants One Just Like It, But Not!).

DISCLAIMER: Two cats were harassed in the making of this total lie, but one might have liked the attention. No chicks were harmed or harassed at all and in fact report that they quite enjoyed consulting for Flounder’s fashion in some artistically placed wood chips. At this time the spaghetti won’t come out of its trailer.

All seedlings are courtesy Jiffy peat starter plugs, applied water, inapplied cat attention, and Burpee Seed Co.: Burpee, for when you need to grow the very best for your pack of complete lies! Consider them for all your knitting whopper background needs!