Dear Ana,
My name is Maisie A. Monsta and I am looking for a new home. I heard you have the perfect place for a nice quiet monster girl to live. I don’t cause too much trouble.
Tell your parents that I have safety eyes, but I should just hang out on a shelf or something until you are 3 years old—then we can play together all the time! Also, although I would survive a trip through the washing machine and dryer, it tends to make me lumpy. I love to take a nice bath in the sink and air dry when I get dirty.
I hope your dad brings me to see you and we can be friends.
Sincerely,
Maisie A. Monster