Welcome to the Unhinged Christmas Blanket CAL!

I decided (very last minute) to put together an interlocking crochet Christmas blanket full of the kind of holiday cheer your conservative Christian parents definitely won’t approve of.

Content Warning:
This CAL will include adult humor, irreverent themes, profanity, sexual innuendo and Rated-R holiday nonsense.

If you want a wholesome Hallmark-movie blanket, this is not that.
If you want to laugh, this is absolutely that.

Using a 5 mm hook and worsted weight yarn, the final blanket will be approximately 5 ft by 5 ft.

This listing is for the December 13, 2025 square:
“Fall on your Knees.“ I feel like this line from Oh Holy Night could have a double meaning. Also, be sure to check out my interpretation of the song title with Day 6’s square, Oh, Holey Night.

This square is available for free on my website, but you may also purchase it here as a standalone pattern or as part of the full CAL.

New squares release daily between December 1–25 in the evening of CST (earlier I said before 5, then around 5, but life happens and sometimes it may be a few hours later, like today - sorry!)

Bundle Discounts:
This pattern is eligible for automatic percentage-off savings with the purchase of other squares from the 2025 Unhinged Christmas CAL:

Buy 2 squares → 10% off

Buy 3 squares → 20% off

Buy 5 squares → 30% off

Discounts apply automatically at checkout when you purchase multiple Unhinged Christmas squares.

If you’re buying several, it will be more cost-effective to purchase the full CAL for $15, which includes all 30 designs, which will be released daily from December 1 - December 25, 2025.

If you purchase the complete CAL:

Optional joining instructions will be added on December 25.

Periodic bonus squares will also be included

If you have a sense of humor (or want to piss off your relatives),
you’re in the right place.