Introducing the Unhinged Christmas Blanket:

Tired of the same old peppermint-sweet, Hallmark Christmas patterns?

Me too. This ebook will contain 25 interlocking crochet squares designed to bring unhinged straight into your living room.

This collection will be packed with:
Irreverent humor
Curse words
Adult themes
Squares that will definitely offend someone’s conservative aunt

Using a 5 mm hook and worsted weight yarn, your finished blanket will be approximately 5 ft x 5 ft.

Inside this ebook as the CAL progresses, you’ll find:
✨ All 25 daily squares released during the Unhinged Christmas CAL
✨ Fully written instructions
✨ Optional joining + border directions
✨ Bonus surprise squares (because holiday chaos demands it)

Patterns will be released no later than 5 PM CST everyday, from December 1 - December 25.

Whether you’re making this as a gag gift, a stress blanket, or a sign to hang over the mantle, this CAL will keep you laughing through the month!

For crocheters with a sense of humor only.
If your elf on the shelf is judgmental, this might not be the pattern for you.

eBook published in December 2025

ravelry.com