Update: As of July 1st, all profits from this pattern will be donated to Planned Parenthood.
If anyone asks, they’re totally flowers, not vaginas. Definitely NOT woolly vaginas for your hands.
Okay, they’re vagina mittens. They’d go great with your Pearl Clutcher cardigan and are a much faster knit. Unfortunately, I’ve only ever seen my own lady garden, so the model colors are based on my skin tone (don’t judge me, I don’t feel like crashing my computer by googling WOC vaginas). It’d be great to see some WOC Clam Hands and I’ve listed some possible color schemes that might work… AND I DOUBLE DOG DARE SOMEONE TO KNIT A BLUE WAFFLE PAIR.
Before you ask, “WHY?!” Don’t bother, I really don’t know. Because vaginas are fun? Yeah, I’ll go with that. And art. Yeeeah, art and stuff.
It helps if you’re familiar with colorwork, grafting, and seaming. The labia are knitted separately and sewn onto the mittens.