I have, as is so often the case, absolutely no excuse for this nonsense. There is literally no problem on this earth that is best solved with a knitted fried egg. The world was not crying out from the depths of its soul for brioche bacon.

And yet, I felt moved to create them. And I strongly suspect quite a few of you do too.

Because sometimes solving a problem isn’t the point. Sometimes clinging, tenaciously, in the face of all odds, to whatever brings you joy or amuses the folks you like to knit for is the point. And by all the gods these sure do bring me joy and amuse some of the folks I like to knit for.

So no, as I’ve said before and will doubtless say again, they’re not for anything. They don’t do anything. They serve no practical function. But they might just make your brain or the brain of someone you care about make one of those happy feelings for just a moment, and that’s enough right now.

General information

This detailed ebook tells you exactly how to make both the bacon and the eggs.

For the bacon, it walks you through everything from casting on, navigating brioche charts, getting the perfect shape to your strips, and even improvising your own versions in case you want to make something bigger and more dramatic. For the eggs, it covers everything from casting on, shaping your yolk, getting the perfect shape to your whites, and blocking your finished egg as well as giving detailed information on how to scale this up to make something like a pillow or even a blanket.

The whole thing is reassuringly thorough (with pages of step-by-step photos showing every part of the process), and you can absolutely make these, even if you’ve never done a project like this before!

Skills & scope

The knitting is about as simple as it gets (it’s nearly all stockinette in the round with just a few optional short rows to give it some shape). This makes absolutely delightful autopilot knitting.

Yarn, gauge & sizing

These are adorable at any size, so you don’t need to worry about getting a specific gauge. As long as you’re getting a fabric you like, you’re getting a good gauge.

I made my eggs with a variety of fingering, sport, and dk-weight scraps. My eggs are between 3.5 and 4.5 inches across (pretty much exactly the size of a chicken egg). Each took less than 100 yards of yarn. 

If you’re currently dreaming of an egg pillow or even a blanket made out of the bulkiest yarn you can find, there’s nothing stopping you! Though you’ll want more yarn.

Tools & supplies

You’ll need needles that let you work in the round (circulars or DPNs) in whatever size lets you get a solid fabric with your chosen yarn plus the general knitting tools you need for most projects (scissors to cut your yarn, a darning needle to weave in ends, a stitch marker if you like to use one to keep track of the start of your round). You’ll also want some sort of little disc (a coin, a lid, a piece of plastic cut into a circle) to go in the yolk.