Note: this pattern has been marked mature. It is potentially offensive both politically and religiously. If this pattern offends you, please go hug a puppy / furry animal / stuffed animal / pillow.

Heck, do that anyway. It’s good for you.

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Once upon a time, someone on the internet posted a picture: above, a (real) photo of a truck marked with the words “OBAMA IS THE ANTCHRIST”; below, a (probably photoshopped) image of an ant with Obama’s head, with a halo and cross. Thus, a meme was born.

Recently, someone on Ravelry created an anti-Trump hat. There was a predictable surge of outraged comments, including some pointing out the lack of ant(i)-Obama patterns. And yes, someone did write “ant Obama”. Thus, a hat idea was born.

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The pattern numbers are written for two sizes, ~96 stitches (approximately suitable for a child’s hat if worked in fingering weight or an adult’s hat if worked in worsted weight) and ~120 stitches (approximately suitable for an adult’s hat in fingering weight). Feel free to adjust to your own gauge, preferably in multiples of 12.

If you would prefer to make a plain Ant Obama hat, leave out the gold stitches of Chart A.

After the first 8 rows, the pattern will require intarsia; as such, it’s written to be worked flat and seamed. Those who prefer to work in the round can do so, either using one of the methods for intarsia in the round, or adding the design by duplicate stitch. In either case, some of the details, such as ant legs and Obama’s features, may work better as surface crochet or embroidery.

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This pattern is not a beginner pattern. I do not explain how to do the colorwork (mostly intarsia) or any techniques. Also note: As of the time of publishing, the pattern has not been tested, and is conceptual only. Knit at your own risk.

The chart is provided under a Creative Commons Attribution License. In plain English, this means you may: use, share, distribute, modify, imitate, adapt, fold, spindle, mutilate, etc., with the only requirement being that you attribute me as the creator.