It’s not a bird, it’s The Bird.
This is a sock for driving. For work and for meetings. For break-ups and arguments. For all of those times that you feel you’ve been mistreated, and you want to look a person in the eye and say “fuck you and the horse you rode in on”. But, for whatever reason, you can’t. The message is still there, somewhat hidden, on your feet. The same feet you use to just walk away.
The sock is knit stranded, with 72 stitches. Some familiarity with stranded knitting is suggested. Sizing can be altered by changing needle size (for people with very small feet, the chart from the companion mitts, And the Horse You Rode in on, can be used, which has 64 stitches). Bear in mind that stranded socks really don’t stretch at all. The pattern is charted, and the sock uses a short-row heel, but can easily be adapted to use a flap heel if you prefer. There is a chart provided with the colors inverted as well.
The heel motif is worked with intarsia and stranding. It is strictly optional, and omitting it will not detract significantly from the message of the sock, unless you wear clogs. Which I do.
This pattern uses about 50g (230 yards) of the main color (in this case, white) and about 40g (185 yards) of the contrasting color (in this case, dark green).
Some people may find this objectionable; to those people, I apologize. I have tagged this pattern as “mature” so that it can be avoided by people who prefer that socks retain a certain purity of character.
I used Knit Picks sock yarn for this. It remains my go-to, workhorse sock yarn. I apologize to any of the good folks at Knit Picks who may not appreciate their fine yarn being promoted by a profane sock.
If you want to print off this pattern and give it to someone else without asking me first, that is fine with me (if you sell someone this free pattern, though, I would be mad that you’d rip someone off like that). I also believe that you have the right to sell any item that you make from this pattern, so if you make these socks and want to sell them, it’s your hard work - please go ahead and do so. Just do us both proud and sell them for a shitload of money. My ego demands that you not claim this pattern as your own, and that you give me a little credit somewhere.